I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
