new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
