The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
