these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Your dad touched me again.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
