they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
