Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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