so explain again why im purple
no
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
