i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
