Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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