I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
