I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
