did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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