Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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