CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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