it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
