we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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