Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
