i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
