Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
