Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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