just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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