i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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