how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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