Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im six kinds of drunk right now
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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