you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
