I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
