help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize