Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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