somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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