I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
