just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
