the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
