So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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