Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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