Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
