Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's Friday. Sex?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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