Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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