In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize