I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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