oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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