and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
