chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
