you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
