dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Randomize
