That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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