woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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