Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
