If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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