Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
