she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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