it hurts more in the daytime
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
