He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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