Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
