Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
