sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
