Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize