My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
be right there i have to get my cape
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
