You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
As shirtless as possible
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
