You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
