everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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