i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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