That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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