i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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