i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
