help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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