Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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